I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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