Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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