I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
