i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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