when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
