I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
