just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
