This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
