I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
