In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
