I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
