I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
