where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
