Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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