You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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