There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
