a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
