I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I need help removing her.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Farmville is her only friend.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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