the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
