He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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