I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
