Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
