Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
