look no pants
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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