Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
