You're completely useless in the revolution.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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