Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
