i wish my penis had a tongue
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
