I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
