Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
