Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
