U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
