i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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