Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
