you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just invented taco cereal.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
