i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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