how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
how does that bad decision feel?
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