do herpes really smell.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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