i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im holly from the hills drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
