so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
