omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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