I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
