I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
