If i come over, it means nothing
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
