i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My liver just had a heart attack.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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