It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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