We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That accounts for only three of the penises
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
