i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
