his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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