Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
