Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
