This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
bring money and cleavage
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
