I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
