If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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