Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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