He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What drink are we having for lunch?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
