so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
